Cordelia
by Chibi Tidus
Summary: This will be a two part fic, the first chapter dealing with Cordelia's thoughts, and the second with Angel's, about those last few moments of the 100th episode.
1. Will You Remember?

Cordelia  
  
A/N: Okay, so I just watched the 100th episode of Angel, just now, yes, and I have to say, that was the saddest thing I have seen in the longest time! Oh wow! I think I might actually stop watching... but I probably wont, because like the rest of us I am addicted. However, done now with the rant this will be a two part story, and this first part is from Cordelia's perspective, on her thoughts as she left Angel. Song fic to the song "Will You Remember?" by the Cranberries. The second part, will, of course be from Angel's POV. Please be kind enough to leave a review!  
  
Will you remember the dresse I wore?   
Will you remember my face?   
Will you remember the lipstick I wore?   
This world is a wonderful place.   
  
I stood there, still in your embrace, telling you that the ringing phone in the background was something you could not ignore, something that you had to do. I knew what was about to happen, who was on the other line, and I could not tell you myself, for fear of seeing you have to break down in front of me like I knew you would. It was going to be no big surprise to anyone to see you fall after tonight.  
  
We were supposed to be meeting up with the others for some drinks, something that they had apparently never done. Instead you were going to have to just try and stay standing when you answered that phone.  
  
"By the way, you're welcome."  
  
Will you remember the black limousine?   
Will you remember champagne?   
Will you remember the things that we've seen?   
I will return here again.   
  
I knew what was going to happen, how everything was going to play out, but I did not want them to happen. So I exposed Lindsay and Eve, what difference does that really make in the long run? The team would have figured it out eventually. It was never too late for them to save people, it was what they did. It was how they were special.   
  
A tear glistens in my eye as you start to walk over to the phone. I watch your body, trying to memorize it all one last time, before I wasn't here anymore. I put one hand to my mouth, to help choke back the sob that wrenched my body. Things had to go as they were foretold. I loved Doyle, and learned from him. He taught me that we all have to make sacrifices, that was what this was all about. Sacrifice.  
  
I hope that someday I will be able to find a way back to you.  
  
Will you remember the flowers in my hand?   
Will you remember my hair?   
Will you remember the future we planned?   
The world is not waiting out there.   
  
We had talked about what if we had met that day, now a year and a half ago. My guess is that somehow we would still be in this situation, this lose-lose situation that I wanted desparately out of. I wish I could tell you so many things, so many things that I have learned and felt while I was away from you.   
  
It was possible that we could have had a future together. We were bonded by the secret of Conner, and everything that has happened since then. I live with the guilt of killing Lila, you are forever burdened by the weight of your soul. I gave brith to the Evil God Jasmine, you sacrificed your son. This isn't much different, is it? I mean, you did what you had to do for Conner, and now I am doing what I have to do to save you from the thing you might become.  
  
I won't remember the dress I wore.   
I won't remember champagne.   
I won't remember the things that we swore.   
I will just love you in vain.   
  
You hand reaches the phone, and I feel myself start to detatch. Wherever I am going I don't think I will remember any of this. I wont remember you, or the others, or this place. Something will happen to me, and we will meet again, but I wont know you.   
  
I just hope that I know you now, how you really are, not how you pretend to be. I just hope that we will find each other, and live agian.  
  
You pick up the phone and I am gone.  
  
Will you remember?   
Will you recall?   
Will you remember? 


	2. There You'll Be

A/N: Ok, so this is the final part of my story, and it is from Angel's POV. Pretty self explanitroy, very angsty. Thanks to Peeping Shadow-Monkey for the song. It is from the Pearl Harbor ST, (There You'll Be ~Faith Hill). I hope you all enjoy! please R+R  
  
When I think back  
On these times  
And the dreams  
We left behind  
I'll be glad 'cause  
I was blessed to get  
To have you in my life  
When I look back  
On these days  
I'll look and see your face  
You were right there for me  
  
I set the phone down, not able to think, not able to think straight. Spinning around I hope to find you still there, a prank of sorts. But no... you are gone. What the hell? You can't be gone!  
  
The tears rolled from my eyes, knowing that you were really gone and the rest of the team was waiting for us to meet up with them for drinks... I stare at the dark empty office, the gravity of the situation sinking into me, and I felt everything crumble around me. The one thing that I had hoped for above all else in taking over Wilfram and Heart was that I would somehow bring you back to me. Your short bouncy brown hair, your deep searching dark eyes searching my face with a smile on your face.  
  
Are you just another face that will be floating in my soul for all eternity? Was there anything I could have done to stop this from happening? You came back to me to get me to believe, to have faith again, at the cost of your own life. Why?  
  
I fall to the floor, holding my head in my hands. How could you leave me?   
  
In my dreams  
I'll always see you soar  
Above the sky  
In my heart  
There always be a place  
For you for all my life  
I'll keep a part  
Of you with me  
And everywhere I am  
There you'll be  
  
Memories flood into me, flowing into every pore, of when you were just a stuck up rich girl in Sunnydale, and your slow transformation since we moved to LA. Everything up until that last faithful night when you became a higher being and I was betrayed by my own son. I clench my hands on the side of the chair next to me, gripping it firmly in my hands and sending it flying across the room.  
  
Had you known all along that this was going to happen? Why does everything that I ever care about fall away from me?   
  
Angelus, the fallen Angel.   
  
I fall completely onto the ground, screaming as loud as I can, knowing that it will do nothing to help bring you back. You were gone, out of my reach. But I do know that no matter what happens to me, your image will haunt my dreams for the rest of my long life. I know that a part of you will always be with me, always follow me whatever I do.  
  
Buffy was one thing, but you were something completely different.  
  
Well you showed me  
How it feels  
To feel the sky  
Within my reach  
And I always  
Will remember all  
The strength you  
Gave to me  
Your love made me  
Make it through  
Oh, I owe so much to you  
You were right there for me  
  
My life, my sanity, I owe to you. What you did, with Lindsay, and becoming part demon just so you could utilize the gift that Doyle left for you, the curse he passed along with his last breath. Now I will never know what you thought of me in the end, how you really felt.  
  
Did you bring me back here just so that you would go alone, leaving me to wallow in my misery on my own? There was no way you thought I could do this on my own, I need you so badly... so...  
  
I rose, moving to the windows. The supposedly ultraviolet proof, shatter proof windows. With a surge of strength I kicked it, again and again in the same spot until it finally gave way, sending shards flying out into the night. I look down at what had become my city, my land, and I decided that it had to be this way. On the sidewalk right outside the building, I see the forms of our friends staring up at me. I move so that I am in full view of them, and stand stock still.  
  
"Angel?" I hear Fred's voice drift up on the wind with my vampire ears. I make no move to let her know that I heard her.  
  
Nothing could move me from this spot until the sun rose and did it for me.  
  
'Cause I always saw in you  
My light, my strength  
And I want to thank you  
Now for all the ways  
You were right there for me  
You were right there for me  
For always 


End file.
